Crop Circles and Other Hieroglyphs, Part 1

So we hired the Boring Man (no real reflection on his personality) and a plumber. Off we went. The first two hours of wash rack plumbing went like clockwork. It was after that we started to develop more Trouble than River City. The Boring was quiet and uneventful, boring even. We had to recalibrate when we hit the foundation, but no biggie--we popped up in the barn exactly where the frost free hydrant would go. Then we ran our new water pipe and hooked it in to the old one. And BAM, the fantasy construction job went up in flames faster than a Southern plumber can say,"Ma'am, there's no water in this pipe."

Thus 2010: the Odyssey of the Search for a Functioning Water Supply began. I called the original architect, who is now basking in the Florida sun. He previously had assured me that if we just replaced the hydrant, then we should have water. He then remembered that maybe the next owner possibly cut the barn supply when they did some drainage work, 15'ish from the house. We dug a trench, found a pipe. YAY! Started to trace the pipe; found many, many more pipes. Then the beaucoup pipe and catch basin bonanza. But all of these were part of the long lost Sahara irrigation system. This over 2 days. I had nearly every plumber in the Tri-State area through on Thursday, as we foolishly tried to stay on schedule. They were plumbing; I was digging. They did bring some unbelievably good diggers in when they finished the other jobs they were on. So it turns out "Ditch Digger" is a very skilled profession; shining with precision, and frighteningly fast. Now they call them Outside Plumbers, I guess, but the alliteration of the oldest title is alluring.

On Friday, covered with dirt, very sore from learning how to dig effectively from the best, I gave up and called Duane at the Equipment Rental place. I explained that I was tired and I wanted to rent a ditch witch for the weekend to find the cursed water line. We learned (and by we, I mean Old Man (mostly) got a new Saturday job) that if you want to find anything in the ground, a ditch witch is hands down the way to go. I said, "Honey, this is the electrical line. Don't hit it." He was trying to avoid the phone line, inexplicably buried 24 inches deep, when he hit the electric line, I yelled STOP, and water spewed everywhere.

The Prequel: Crop Circles and Other Hieroglyphs

We started on the barn plumbing a few weeks ago because I had started the new barn doors. Which I wanted to hang on the shiny new round track installed way back on Labor Day.  The hanging would have gone flawlessly except for that pesky non-functional hydrant just to the left of the main door, directly in the path of the new sliding door.

I was perhaps more sensitive to non-functioning plumbing since Old Man didn't drain the 200' long hose completely that day in January when he left town for a week and the bottom actually fell off the thermometer and shattered on the 6 degree F ground. It took me a LONG time to get water down to the barn. We have one water trough heater (for our only electrical outlet), but for reasons that elude me now, we needed more. It was probably hailing, sleeting, snowing, or raining. Or not. It was definitely below freezing.

When attempting to break the ice on the main pasture trough I discovered its perfect ice sculpture self portrait 12" thick. I tried to take it to a wedding. I couldn't lift it, but I did flip it out of the trough. I could not get the 200' hose popsicle thawed, even on the asphalt. It was then I became cranky.

After talking to a plumber and a borer, the course of action became clear: Bore a new water line under the drive and the barn to a new frost-free hydrant location conveniently located in the barn; attach it to the old water line. Add a sink with stainless steel counter, a drain down valve, a laundry faucet, and a cut off in heavy duty cast iron for sub freezing weather --a perfect wash rack for horses. Max 25' hose required for any task, any weather.  How hard could it be?